I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
I put it into a sports analogy for him: there are three teams in the league- friends, fuck buddies, and dating, and the fuck buddies roster is full, pick an alternate team
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
Using manwich sauce as ketchup. Not bad. Love college.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
Instead of a fine and a few hours in jail he chose to get tasered, break his neck and shit his pants
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Randomize