Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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