IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
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