You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I accidentally had phone sex last night
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
I cannot take an uber back in my costume...can you please come get me?
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize
