On valentines day I took a girl on a date that I suspect was homeless
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I love family holidays its the only time when playing beer pong, and smoking hookah with my family isnt looked down upon
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
