Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
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