i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
And then she was like, "don't do anything. No blow jobs, don't let him stick his fingers in weird places because people have germs."
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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