I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
i wish my penis had a tongue
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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