Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
