Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
Umm I'm too high to move.
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
Our sex is like an episode of "The Simpsons." Picture Homer choking Bart, and that's pretty much what we're into.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
I have all the porn. Be there soon
Who is this?
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