i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
Randomize
