You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
My getting drunk and marrying a stranger in Vegas final court annulment papers just came in the mail... I might frame that shit
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
