I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
