Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
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