Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
Randomize
