Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
being pregnant is like rehab
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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