Woke up with a treasure map of my room stuck with sticky tape to my ceiling. followed it and found $75 with a note saying; "eat this if we're invaded"... I'm never getting stoned again
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
Fantastic. I'm pretty cold, tired, dirty, and hungry, but that comes with an adventurous weekend. Who needs a wallet or keys anyway? I could totally be homeless.
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
Hey, how are you?
No. You're dead to me, you hamster stealing slutbag.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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