I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
Dicks are not precious.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
