OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
smell my finger.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I just watched an old episode of Daria while eating brownies to cure day drunkness. Clearly I'm winning at adulting today.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize