Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
I'm helping my Mormon ex boyfriend from high school embrace his inner cross dresser. This is truly god's work.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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