need another drink. this is the easiest way
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
How weird is it that 2 people I've had sex with have the same birthday and they don't even know each other
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize