he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
