i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
My brain says no but my pants say off.
You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
I think my penis ruined a perfectly good friendship.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
A guy just walked down the street dressed as Mickey Mouse holding a 40oz. Where the hell did you leave me?
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I'm officially disproving the fact that a hoe never gets cold bc this hoe is COLD.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
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