I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize