My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
