hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Hey! Where are you? It's Irrisponsible Patio time and you're not here firing shots down summer student's throats
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I'm glad you still love me even when I change pants in the kitchen and demand you spoon me
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Randomize
