I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
Randomize
