Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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