I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
