she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I've never been so happy to start my period. I'm gonna let everyone in the store see me buying tampons.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
