I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
