Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I'm at about main and main street
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
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