return my video game
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
The thing i'm gunna miss the most about college is peeing while brushing my teeth in the shower without being judged. You just can't do that anywhere else
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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