You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize