I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
