We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
