Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
Randomize