I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I just told the 2nd grade class leprechauns are the children of midgets.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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