Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
Naked Twister starts at high noon
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
And I mean really who loses their phone in a tree
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
I’m photoshopping my boobs to up my Tinder game. I need better dick in 2020
Randomize
