my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
You kept hugging the big bouncer & feeling the other ones beard
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
Drunk. But sober enough to know I hate gymnastics.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
