ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
