I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I just realized it's officially fall..I had sex while watching Halloween
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Randomize
