When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
maybe you met your husband and you just don't know it yet
and other hilarious jokes you can tell yourself
Randomize
