I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Oh god it's open bar.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
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