you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Randomize
