White coat. Heels.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
never planned on seeing last weekend's one night stand again, much less be on the same plane as him..
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize