As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
You just met him on Thursday, and you've already nicknamed him Golden Penis?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
He gave us beer and shots and made us pizza in his brick oven before firing a handgun into the air to signal it was time to give us a ride in his inflatable raft to the bars.
He's like a mythological figure
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
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