he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
