Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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