I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I just watched our fat male neighbor dibble a soccer ball across the lawn. It looked like Baywatch with diabetes
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
