i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
Randomize
