his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
I'm both gender and math confused
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
I don't know if it was the movie or the drugs but after i watched it i wore the same spongebob shirt to school for two weeks and stopped showering
Randomize
