sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
I don't know how to say "Sorry I was banging your boyfriend before I knew about you but you're awesome and we should hang out." without just saying it.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize
