Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
