I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
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