why do my parents always seem to be having way more sex than i do?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
He came on my pillow pet. That's unacceptable. I hate boys.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
