pwbgyin
what?
penguin condom
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
She loves introducing her friends to my foreskin.
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
