Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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