I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
That blackeyed peas song was on, so I thought that was prediciting tonight was going to be a good night. And then my garage door opner fell and hit me in the head.
I literally just copy and pasted that from another bbm convo bc I'm far too stoned to explain that again.
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
