Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Had to make a piece of abstract art. Your dick is in it
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize