it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Just had to have the guy at Sprint clear the dried cum out of the trackball on my Blackberry. Wonder if that happens to him often.
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
iPhone photo doodle is awesome. I gave my vagina some lazers and sent it to him. He has a whole series waiting on his phone for when he gets off the plane.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Apparently I made a chicken patty, angrily took it out of the microwave, walked outside, and threw it over the balcony. #me
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