If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I woke up on karas dogs bed. Lets evaluate our lives.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
