I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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