Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
No subtext here. People are naked.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
