I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize