Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
God I miss you. I want to fuck your face... Then do all the girly cuddly shit too.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
