i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
