sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
