so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
I think I should advise against you hooking up with a guy that throws "the shocker" up in all of his pictures on facebook. Just sayin.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
