ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
they're like a gay fantastic four
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
