If i come over, it means nothing
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
why do you have a stuffed bear wearing a thong and a seatbelt in your backseat??
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
I swear it’s like he’s filling my soul via my vagina
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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