I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
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