Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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