Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Is this like a preordered booty call?
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
