All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
Randomize
