If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
Our house almost burnt down last night. I woke up at 4:10am to the smoke alarm going off bc the bean bag chair was on fire so i extinguished it and smoked a bowl at 4:20 to celebrate my fire extinguishing abilities
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
He really thought ahead and just left the tequila in the mail box for late night pickup. Best. Friend. Ever.
Taking my underwear off at work was one of my better decisions this weekend
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
