yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
I lost my virginity in that bed. You just layed in history.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Randomize
