so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
I told you in the isle if you get the one that vibrates that I masturbating with it. Your fault.
Bullshit. You owe me a toothbrush.
Ordained minister or not I hereby renounce all moral responsibility for any and all related occurrences
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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