I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
If I die on my walk home, please come claim the body. There is $30 in my left shoe for you....for pizza
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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